Things in life can pop up when you least expect them, but one thing that sent Hannah, a recent graduate world reeling, was finding out that her parents had credit cards in her name for years. What started off as a normal day rapidly deteriorated into a financial nightmare that still has me trying to figure out how to overcome the repercussions of their actions and debt I never asked for.
The discovery
It all started when Hannah received a letter from a credit card company reflecting a big outstanding balance. Of course, shocked, she immediately ordered her credit report. She could hardly believe her eyes. It showed more accounts opened in her name, Hannah, which she did not know of. The confrontation with her parents brought out the reluctant news that they had taken her identity for credit cards since her teenage years. They were also justifying it, saying that would put some credit history in her favor.
Reality was much worse, though. In these years, they had amassed almost $20,000 of debt on those cards and were now asking me to assume responsibility in paying off their new car, a car which they had purchased without even asking her opinion. She couldn’t help but feel more betrayed. They had ruined not only her credit score but also laid a very hefty financial burden upon her.
The financial impact
It really hurt Hannah to know that she had credit card debt. At the beginning of her career, at a stage when she had to relearn how to handle all living expenses and save money for my future needs, it was absolutely overwhelming even to think that she was supposed to be responsible for $20,000 debt. Her parents said that it was a family matter, and the least she could do was help them out now since they always provided for me.
That plight reminded her of many stories on Reddit of grown kids struggling with their student loans, among a host of other constraints that were absolutely out of their hands yet thrust upon them by family decisions. A post that has stuck with her was from a recent law school graduate who whined about his $2,700 monthly payment for ten years due to student loans. He claimed hindsight bias on all his financial decisions and the helplessness in light of circumstances beyond his or anyone else’s control.
Facing her parents
After much introspection, Hannah knew this was the right time when she had to be blunt with my parents about the repercussions of their actions. She told them how such a decision had not only affected her credit but also put her financial future in jeopardy. They listened, but the explanation that came out sounded defensive, that they did what they thought would serve the best interest of the family.
Hannah threw out a suggestion over how together they might responsibly pay off the debt without burdening her with all of it. They were not willing to accept any culpability for their actions, though. Instead, they continued to pressure me to pay off their car loan, claiming it was a necessity for our family’s well-being.
Seeking support
Hannah felt confused, frustrated, and thus reached out to friends and online communities for help. Several people chimed in about experiencing financial burden from families and many others found it relatable. What became clear was that this wasn’t only an issue about money but also about trust, responsibility, and the complicated dynamics of family relationships.
What hit home from all the discussions was setting boundaries with family over finances. Many encouraged me to stand firm in not taking on a debt that wasn’t mine, and instead focus on my financial health.
Closure on what unfolded
Eventually, Hannah realized that as much as family is important, it shouldn’t be at the expense of my financial stability. After several heated discussions with her parents, they reached a compromise whereby they would take steps to consolidate their debts and begin making the payments on their own terms, without further involving me.
This was one of those well-taught lessons concerning financial literacy and responsibility, further driving home the point that open communication about money matters should exist among members of the family. This has made me rather vigilant in the securing of my credit and also avoiding any accountability regarding debts incurred by another individual.
A cautionary tale
Hannah however, has become enlightened and sees this as some kind of cautionary tale as to how really complicated family dynamics can get when it comes to finances. Setting boundaries and being upfront about money is a good way to avoid getting into some of the traps Hannah managed to find herself in. Like many have testified on this subreddit with student loans and unexpected financial burdens, one needs to learn how to advocate for themselves in situations where personal finances are involved.
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